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When I tell people I'm going to a naked resort in Jamaica, they respond as though I've just revealed my salary or the details of my last menstruation. It's a long blink or a visible shift backward in their seat. Several ask, after a pause, "Are you a naked person? I don't know. What's a naked person? A naked person probably sleeps with crystals under her pillow to ward off negative stuff and leaves candles burning and pees with the door open.